THE ABORTION
When I was 16 years old, my sister of 14 years became pregnant. The circumstances of how she became pregnant are best told by my sister herself because I wasn't there. Of course, I would have stopped the rape if I had been there. She never told anyone, not even me and I had no clue what she was going through. My sister later told me that she saw me riding my bicycle on the main street of our town as she was leaving on the bus headed for New York City to obtain the abortion. Abortion was still illegal in the US and Canada at that time. She told me that I seemed so happy and carefree on my bike and she really wanted to get off the bus at that moment and tell me. But she did not.
Because my sister left and stayed away from home overnight, my parents went into a complete uproar. I didn't know what was happening but it seemed like something terrible. I am confused on the exact circumstances, but I believe that my parents received information that my sister had gone to NYC and why. I became very confused when my sister returned home the next day and was greeted by both my parents who proceeded to scream and rage at her in the next room.
After my parents decided to let my sister rest, my mother came into my room to explain to me what had happened. My mother was a big fan of "no sex before marriage" even though she had done it herself. I think she may have even been lecturing me on the subject at this point like she always did. I may have then said something sarcastic to her about her own premature pregnancy while I was thinking how my poor sister must be suffering in the other room.
Fortunately my mother didn't slap my face this time. If she had slapped my face there could have been a bad outcome. Perhaps I would have ended up in "Reform School". Reform School was a term used a lot by my mother to threaten us. No, she didn't slap my face--she did something much, much worse! Now my mother proceeded to give me the ultimate verbal slap in the face.
She was sitting on the bed beside me in my room when she proceeded to tell me that she had become pregnant with ME when she was 19 years old and unmarried. Really? I thought she always maintained that I was a premature baby. I said nothing. I was trapped there with her and forced to listen. You couldn't just walk away from her. She demanded your attention. My sister in the next room had just suffered a huge trauma. She was 14. In what universe does that compare to an adult relating an out of wedlock pregnancy at 19???? My sister is 14! She is a child!!!
The next thing out of my mother's mouth was clearly meant to destroy me, but I could not and would not let it! "I tried to terminate the pregnancy", she said. WHAT!!!??? I did not want to hear another word, but I stupidly and numbly sat there and did not say anything. Silence was often a weapon I used when dealing with my mother. "Oh yes. I went to see the doctor and he gave me some pills. I took them and they made me sick, but nothing happened." As I dumbly watched my mother's face, I felt a stronger hate for her than I ever had before. She made this profound statement to me as nonchalantly as you might say, "Oh, I tried to get the stain out of this shirt in the laundry but it didn't work."
I didn't hear anything else she said even though her lips kept on moving. A great loud buzzing was happening inside my head and ears, blocking her voice from me. Now I figure this is something that happens right before you kill somebody and then afterward you say I don't remember anything. Maybe I had a murderous look on my face, I can't be sure but she finally left. Maybe my face was blank and she left because she was bored of not getting a reaction from me.
Finally I was able to talk with my sister and that's when she told me that she was looking out the bus window and saw me riding my bike. We both felt very sad, but I was happy that I still had my sister and I still feel the same. And that was the end of our childhood.
Because my sister left and stayed away from home overnight, my parents went into a complete uproar. I didn't know what was happening but it seemed like something terrible. I am confused on the exact circumstances, but I believe that my parents received information that my sister had gone to NYC and why. I became very confused when my sister returned home the next day and was greeted by both my parents who proceeded to scream and rage at her in the next room.
After my parents decided to let my sister rest, my mother came into my room to explain to me what had happened. My mother was a big fan of "no sex before marriage" even though she had done it herself. I think she may have even been lecturing me on the subject at this point like she always did. I may have then said something sarcastic to her about her own premature pregnancy while I was thinking how my poor sister must be suffering in the other room.
Fortunately my mother didn't slap my face this time. If she had slapped my face there could have been a bad outcome. Perhaps I would have ended up in "Reform School". Reform School was a term used a lot by my mother to threaten us. No, she didn't slap my face--she did something much, much worse! Now my mother proceeded to give me the ultimate verbal slap in the face.
She was sitting on the bed beside me in my room when she proceeded to tell me that she had become pregnant with ME when she was 19 years old and unmarried. Really? I thought she always maintained that I was a premature baby. I said nothing. I was trapped there with her and forced to listen. You couldn't just walk away from her. She demanded your attention. My sister in the next room had just suffered a huge trauma. She was 14. In what universe does that compare to an adult relating an out of wedlock pregnancy at 19???? My sister is 14! She is a child!!!
The next thing out of my mother's mouth was clearly meant to destroy me, but I could not and would not let it! "I tried to terminate the pregnancy", she said. WHAT!!!??? I did not want to hear another word, but I stupidly and numbly sat there and did not say anything. Silence was often a weapon I used when dealing with my mother. "Oh yes. I went to see the doctor and he gave me some pills. I took them and they made me sick, but nothing happened." As I dumbly watched my mother's face, I felt a stronger hate for her than I ever had before. She made this profound statement to me as nonchalantly as you might say, "Oh, I tried to get the stain out of this shirt in the laundry but it didn't work."
I didn't hear anything else she said even though her lips kept on moving. A great loud buzzing was happening inside my head and ears, blocking her voice from me. Now I figure this is something that happens right before you kill somebody and then afterward you say I don't remember anything. Maybe I had a murderous look on my face, I can't be sure but she finally left. Maybe my face was blank and she left because she was bored of not getting a reaction from me.
Finally I was able to talk with my sister and that's when she told me that she was looking out the bus window and saw me riding my bike. We both felt very sad, but I was happy that I still had my sister and I still feel the same. And that was the end of our childhood.
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